Saturday, February 18, 2012

Haircuts: Not Very Fun

I hate when my hair sticks to my face because it's wet. 
I don't like getting haircuts.

There's a number of reasons I hate them, but once I was diagnosed with Asperger's (it'll be 3 years in July already - holy cow!) I realized why some of them existed. Getting a haircut is annoying to begin with for me because I can't multitask during it and get other things done (sportswriting, drawing, etc.), but the fact that a salon is sensory hell makes it significantly worse.

There is nothing I hate more than being wet. I'm not sure why, but I have never liked being wet. When you get a haircut, your hair is usually washed first at the salon and is therefore wet. This makes it stick to your face and neck, which is itchy and uncomfortable...and wet. It's not cool.

The salon is also full of strange smells because of all the beauty products and shampoos and lotions and whatnot that they use. Too many smells can be overwhelming for a neurotypical person, let alone someone with an ASD. It's an extremely uncomfortable experience, and when you're also having physical sensory issues because EVERYTHING IS WET, it adds to your discomfort. It's also not cool.

Then there's the part where they actually dry your hair. My stylist is the absolute best and she does an incredible job with my hair. I love her. However, when she's drying my hair, she yanks my head all about and uses a hair dryer so hot that the tips of my ears turn red before she's done. I know you need heat to straighten your hair, yes, but that much? It just ends up hurting me. I wonder if she sees my wincing face in the mirror. It's really, really not cool. (Actually, it's quite hot.)

Long story short, getting a haircut can be a sensory nightmare. I'm not even very far down on the spectrum and it's miserable for me. I know NTs who are bothered by everything at salons, too. It's just not a fun experience, and it's just made worse if you're on the spectrum and have sensory issues.

At least by the end of it, I look like this, which is a nice consolation prize:

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Steph Appeal vs Sex Appeal

Let's talk about sex appeal versus Steph Appeal.
It's almost Valentine's Day, and for the 23rd year in a row, I'm single. I've never been on a date in my entire life, and that's been okay because I've been working on getting my life in order and focusing on my education and career up until now. Besides, instead of Valentine's Day I celebrate a holiday called Pitchers And Catchers Report Day around the same time in February every year, which is one of the most important holidays of the year on my calendar. However, I got to wondering why I've never been asked out before in my entire life despite being a fairly cute girl who's very nice to people. In the meantime, girls who were all essentially the same person went on plenty of dates, got laid, were in relationships...all those things I've never done.

Then again, none of those girls have probably ever reached inside the stomach of a cow. But I digress. (I have, however, done some pretty cool stuff in the name of science.)

Anyhow, I concluded this morning that I don't have traditional sex appeal, which may have something to do with why I didn't attract the high school and college set of boys. I don't wear form-fitting outfits, preferring comfort to style. I don't know how to flirt. I hate how makeup feels on my face - it itches and I feel sealed up - so I don't wear it. I keep my hair short, so I can't flip it in a bar to get someone's attention. I'm just...not very traditionally attractive.

I have what's called Steph Appeal instead.

Okay, let me explain that. I have a lot of things about me that would make me a great catch for somebody, although they're not often what people traditionally look for in a girl. Here are my best attributes:
  • I'm a nerd. I play video games and read comic books and sci-fi and fantasy novels, as well as classical literature and history books. Basically, I'm not the girl who would force you to throw out your comic book collection if we moved in together. Hell, I'd be the one adding to it.
  • I LOVE SPORTS. Hell, I WRITE ABOUT SPORTS. There's a fairly good chance that I know more about baseball than you. In fact, when I'm watching TV, it's usually baseball. Sometimes it's some other sport or maybe something really geeky. Basically, you won't have to fight with me over the remote if you want to watch sports.
  • I have strangely good parental instincts. I credit this to always having cats and dogs in my house.
  • I'm a genuinely nice person.
  • I'm fun! I like doing stupid things and once I get to know you I'm cool to hang out with.
Oh, and I guess I'm pretty cute. That, too.

So...who wants to be my date?