Friday, December 30, 2011

Moving On

It's almost the end of 2011, so I guess I should write about what was for me a very big year. Because this is a culmination post or whatnot, you get an actual photo of me (in my room at home) with my partner in crime, Murphy.

The first half of this year was really difficult for me - in between writing my thesis and navigating a lot of difficult stuff in my personal life, I ended up struggling with depression. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to be happy in your current situation, you can't. It just happens.

Things actually looked up once I graduated from college. Although there were a few months where I started floundering because I had no idea what to do with myself, I ended up getting my feet back under me and went back to my therapist. He got me back on the right track and eventually convinced me to join a group therapy session he was starting up every week for women. I'm the youngest member of that group. There's one other girl in her 20s, and everyone else is older. It's like I've gained four more mothers and an older sister, honestly. Having their guidance is wonderful. Because of all of them - and if you ladies read this, you know who you are - I finally feel secure in myself as a person.

For various reasons, I never felt secure as a person in the four years I was at college. There are a lot of factors, most of which are things that I'm not going to talk about at the present, but they're all behind me. I will say this, though - I learned a lot about people when I was at college. There are all kinds of people out there in this world - some will be good to you, and others won't be. Then there are those who are both. It's up to you yourself to successfully navigate your relationships with all of these people. For people on the autism spectrum - like myself - that's harder than it is for neurotypical people. It's a struggle to understand the people that care about us, let alone the ones that don't. It's harder to determine who those people are sometimes. Sometimes, we're even flat-out wrong about what people want from us. We've all experienced good and bad relationships (the story of my 2011) - the toughest part is determining what to do with them.

Sometimes, you just have to move on, too. And that's okay.

Wishing you all a wonderful 2012! Now we just have to hope the world doesn't end, right? Right.

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