Monday, July 11, 2011

In Need Of Direction

I actually drew this on vacation. Yeah, you think I'd be happier on vacation - and don't get me wrong, I had fun - but I've been struggling greatly since I've graduated from college. I have no direction in my life right now, and it's becoming really frustrating. I'm planning on going to graduate school and trying to get a paying job (not a 9-to-5 one, remember?), but at the moment I feel completely lost and I hate it.

I'm going to talk to my therapist tomorrow about this and see if he can give me a nudge in the right direction, but I'm realizing that boredom does not sit well with an active person like myself. I don't mean active in the sense of 'athletically active' or anything - I'm just one of those people who can't sit around doing nothing. I need to be doing something.

Today I ran an errand, going to Williams-Sonoma at the Garden State Plaza to pick up some ice cream bowls that my dad wanted. I also got lunch (Sarku chicken teriyaki and soba). This was the first time I'd left the house in two days. Just being outside gave me some life. I need something to do. I need a life again.

I need some direction.


  1. Steph, I must say your blog and your art are spectacular. I even tweeted a link.

    It can be a hard transition when you finish school - even as an NT. I finished my MEd. last year and actually felt quite lost and a little down when it was completed. (Also I thought others might call me "Master" and they would be my minions and I would quite happily call them "Igor" - but none of that happened)

    Really though, it seemed rather anticlimactic and I suddenly had this empty spot that had been very filled with school. Suddenly a big piece of your life has changed and that can be a little bit scary. It might also be exciting if you consider the possibilities.

    It is evident that your art and your written communication are real areas of strength for you, and I have no doubt that you will be able to make these remarkable skills work for you. You may not find a job that you want to be in for the rest of your life, but that is OK. It is more experience and that is a good next step. One step at a time can take you an awfully long way...

  2. Gah, I can't seem to reply directly to the comment on here (augh)! I didn't even realize you posted this until just now!

    This all seriously means a ton to me. ♥ I really hope I can take those skills and get somewhere with my life! Now that I'm volunteering more I'm starting to feel better again, almost like there's less of a void there.